I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
