When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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