i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
