well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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