I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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