just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we're making bets on your personal life
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
