we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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