Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
