Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
