i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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