Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My penis needs a shock collar
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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