My nipple is on Facebook.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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