Please, let me fuck your mom
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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