youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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