exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
