Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
