Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
