Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
