like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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