Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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