Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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