we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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