Pappa wants mamma naked
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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