i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
