walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
