just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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