Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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