i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
