Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
