omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
