Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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