Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
