i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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