Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
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