is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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