We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
