I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I did not marry a roomba.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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