The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
