I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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