Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you made out with another girl for some wings
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
