Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
