every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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