Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush

(703): View more from Virginia

Ew, did you brush them again?

(301): View more from Maryland

Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure

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(301): I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush (703): Ew, did you brush them again? (301): Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure http://tfl.nu/kwwh

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(270): View more from Kentucky

32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

Hahahaha

(270): View more from Kentucky

make that 40.

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(270): 32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha! (1-270): Hahahaha (270): make that 40. http://tfl.nu/5c9z

Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (1836)
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(734): View more from Michigan

So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

(810): View more from Michigan

You're 20.

(734): View more from Michigan

IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

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(734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt

Replies (149) Good night (11487) Bad night (2183)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.

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(313): I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere. http://tfl.nu/eett

Replies (40) Good night (957) Bad night (12051)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?

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(502): What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes? http://tfl.nu/o5zg

Replies (17) Good night (4500) Bad night (1076)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

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(603): I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part. http://tfl.nu/7yrx

Replies (8) Good night (5130) Bad night (1053)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....

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(770): Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues.... http://tfl.nu/vepi

Replies (5) Good night (2157) Bad night (886)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?

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(847): He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/g8mb

Replies (15) Good night (5009) Bad night (1414)
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(614): View more from Ohio

It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming

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(614): It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming http://tfl.nu/8wbb

Replies (4) Good night (2029) Bad night (615)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.

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(706): Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with. http://tfl.nu/r42s

Replies (13) Good night (2661) Bad night (570)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher

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(508): Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher http://tfl.nu/j0wm

Replies (3) Good night (1591) Bad night (402)
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(801): View more from Utah

He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...

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(801): He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"... http://tfl.nu/bw0v

Replies (4) Good night (400) Bad night (904)
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(707): View more from California

OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS

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(707): OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS http://tfl.nu/54sh

Replies (7) Good night (724) Bad night (273)
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(850): View more from Florida

For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.

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(850): For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot. http://tfl.nu/k004

Replies (3) Good night (818) Bad night (243)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.

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(413): Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off. http://tfl.nu/bewj

Replies (5) Good night (511) Bad night (237)

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