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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.

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• (518): View more from New York

  he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional

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• (409): View more from Texas

  That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.

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