No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.