Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

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  (248): I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard. http://tfl.nu/wcz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1340) Bad night (478)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.

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  (908): girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/ba5j
  Replies (8) Good night (833) Bad night (4455)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.

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  (570): I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse. http://tfl.nu/2dei
  Replies (8) Good night (3106) Bad night (1557)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it

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  (778): You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it http://tfl.nu/gf74
  Replies (7) Good night (4161) Bad night (1420)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.

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  (917): He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm. http://tfl.nu/al4b
  Replies (8) Good night (7149) Bad night (1376)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.

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  (479): I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke. http://tfl.nu/g10c
  Replies (4) Good night (2858) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".

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  (603): Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight". http://tfl.nu/suji
  Replies (5) Good night (4183) Bad night (1272)
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  (805): View more from California

  Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?

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  (805): Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...? http://tfl.nu/0j4d
  Replies (20) Good night (3361) Bad night (2279)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...

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  (519): like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar... http://tfl.nu/2jmm
  Replies (10) Good night (2454) Bad night (1386)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.

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  (601): If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender. http://tfl.nu/eg99
  Replies (1) Good night (1890) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.

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  (910): once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits. http://tfl.nu/8psa
  Replies (2) Good night (1239) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.

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  (319): Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock. http://tfl.nu/6tse
  Replies (15) Good night (1685) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.

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  (317): The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often. http://tfl.nu/fdr3
  Replies (4) Good night (2043) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...

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  (407): He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on... http://tfl.nu/r90u
  Replies (7) Good night (638) Bad night (1455)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.

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  (513): She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl. http://tfl.nu/kcuq
  Replies (5) Good night (1486) Bad night (435)

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