Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
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I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.