One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
look no pants
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
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I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.