Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

Who goes to Church hungover

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk

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(320): View more from Minnesota

so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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(305): View more from Florida

He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

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(917): View more from New York City

The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

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(219): View more from Indiana

about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

(219): View more from Indiana

yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

peace be with you.

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(512): View more from Texas

This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's

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(254): View more from Texas

If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.

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