eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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