I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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