did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
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you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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