Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
