so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
someone owes me an orgasm
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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