At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
