kristin has been a bad kristin
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
