you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
