Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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