shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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