I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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