Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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