How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
