So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
