Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
